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It's Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends (The Family Library), by Robie H. Harris Michael Emberley
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Product details
Age Range: 4 - 8 years
Grade Level: Preschool - 3
Series: The Family Library
Paperback: 64 pages
Publisher: Candlewick; 1 edition (August 26, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780763633318
ISBN-13: 978-0763633318
ASIN: 0763633313
Product Dimensions:
10.3 x 0.3 x 11.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
550 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#860 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book does a great job of explaining a lot of technical information about the proper name of sexual body parts and explains in exhausting detail how a baby develops from the joining of an egg and sperm. The no-holds-barred cartoon pictures of naked kids are perfect.But they really drop the ball with the page that explains how the sperm gets into the woman. They introduce sex as a "special kind of loving" with a picture of a couple in bed having what looks like the most amazingly fun cuddle fest complete with little hearts all over the place (picture attached). There're several problems with this; 1) my 6 year old step daughter is constantly complaining that she shouldn't have to sleep alone and very jealous of the other adults in her life that get to cuddle and enjoy special love without her in their beds. This picture isn't going to help. 2) It's vague and misleading and says that when a man and woman get "close together" the "penis goes inside the woman" which makes it sound like all you have to do is get to close to a man in bed and his penis will just jump inside you. 3) It is a complete after thought really when they say that kids are too young for this "special kind of loving" 4) Doesn't "special kind of loving" sound exactly like the words a predator would use? And wouldn't they say "you're a big girl now, we can have special loving together" . . . (Ugh shuddering).We are thinking less information would be better at 6 years of age and rather than throw out the baby with the sex page we simply censored the one bad page with a taped on piece of construction paper. It now jumps from a picture of female reproductive organs to the sentence that says "kids are much too young for a special kind of loving called sex. . . during sex the man's penis can release sperm into the woman's vagina." and then the explanation for how babies happens proceeds from there.The pages on good touch/bad touch are also confusing and don't even begin to address equipping kids to protect themselves from being groomed for sexual abuse or preventing them from being sexually abused. The assumption seems to be that a predator will simply grab a kid and start touching their private parts and that's the only form of sexual abuse. It doesn't address when someone asks you to touch their private parts, show you their private parts or want to see yours. It spends a great deal of time talking about how it is "ok" for a "friend" to hold your hand and hug you and how that touch is ok if you are ok with it. It implies that only an adult might touch you in a bad way (when often it can be a child just a few years older that sexually abuses). It's not the purpose of the book to address this topic exclusively, but maybe they shouldn't have included it at all because it feels like it is a dangerously small amount of information and misleading. I could totally see a kid thinking they know what bad touch is now and a predator convincing them that what they are asking them to do is not bad at all, just something a "friend" does with another "friend".
This book is very thorough and factually correct. My 4 year old often asks to read it. I am glad to have this resource to introduce accurate information to him about bodies, babies, and sex.Because parents may be particularly interested in how the book handles sex, I included photos of those pages. Honestly sex is not the focus of the book, but it is included, and now my 4 year old has made several references to "the special love" - he has never called it sex. (When we agreed that yes, his baby sister was probably the last baby in the family, he said, "So you don't have to do the special love." One day we will blow his mind with the info that people do the special love for fun, and that there is something important called birth control, but that day is not today.)
This book is amazing for all the reasons other reviewers indicated - it's realistic, accurate, but age-appropriate. I bought it for my 4.5 and 7.5 year-olds and they loved it. My daughter still reads it on her own at night unless her brother steals it back from her to read it. There's nothing inappropriate about this book if you realize how important it is to share accurate information with your children before they start learning ridiculous stories from their friends. I will admit that although I'm quite liberal, I was very nervous about getting this book and sharing the information with my kids. I wondered whether it was too much information and really admittedly I was personally uncomfortable talking about it. But I took the plunge and read a few pages to them each night - there is a lot of information and my 4.5 yr old only had the attention span for a few pages at a time (my son read on by himself but still looked forward to having me read it together with them each night). They had a lot of questions, all of which were answered by the book which made it much easier on me. What I realized was (a) the book did a way better job than I could have at explaining this stuff appropriately and accurately, (b) it was so much easier to discuss when I had the book and all the information right there, (c) I feared way more that what actually happened. When it got to the part about what sex is and how it happens, I was definitely nervous, but my fears never came up. Instead my daughter was completely disinterested and my son just said "Oh. That's weird." And that's it! And we moved on. And then when we finished the book, my son gave me a big kiss and told me how great he thought I was with the implication that he greatly appreciated that I was open and honest and talked about things that he was curious about and that it was okay to do so. Weeks later, perhaps after my daughter read it on her own several more times, she exclaimed in public that "you make babies by putting a penis into a vagina and they come from cells." I said "yup, that's right, but remember that I asked you not to share that in public because we don't know how much other children know and their parents might not be ready to tell them yet." And that was it. No drama and they are more comfortable asking me all kinds of things now because they know I will be open and honest about them.
My 8 and 7 yr old girls are very advanced intellectually, but I will deny that we shelter them. I knew they had questions and I had no idea how to speak to them. They also seemed uncomfortable and embarrassed when I did try to speak to them. I gave them the book (after I read it first of course) and let them huddle over it for a couple days. There were lots of whispers and giggles and some funny looks, but after a few days there were some quiet, thought out questions. My oldest is now 9 and has requested the second book. She is showing signs of early pubscence so it is probably time. I did not find anything offensive about this book or uncomfortable. Everything is low key and respectable. I recommend this book to any parent trying to navigate this topic. Even if you aren't 100% sure you are ready, this book may at least give you some ideas as how to answer questions that pop up.
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